On aging gracefully…most of the time.
“Wow you have grey hair! Who knew?!?”
“But you have great skin!”
“How did the grey hair happen?!?”
I get this ALL.THE.TIME.
I get strangers on the street asking me how I got grey hair or that I ‘look so young for my age even though I have grey hair.’
Truith be told, I used to be SO INSECURE about it. Especially the backhanded insults about my grey hair. Sure, no one knew that I had grey hair since I was 18. It is hereditary. I just did a good job (and might I add, an expensive job) of covering it up.
So did I just get to a point where I just ‘wanted to grow old gracefully?!?” Hell no. If I could still afford my ‘highlights’ to my thick mane, I probably would still be doing it. But I now live in a country where even a simple haircut trim is out of the question. It was a question of budget and it was NOT in mine.
It was also a question of health. When I moved here I was five months pregnant. I didn’t want to expose my precious cargo with any unnecessary chemicals. I intended on going without any chemical treatments until baby arrived and then I’d return to my usual routine of highlighting my mane. But, it didn’t happen? Nope, nor did my fake lash refills either. Yeah, I had those too. Its all the rage in urban Alaska and I LOVED mine. I still look back at my Hawaiian wedding photos and the first thing I notice is my lovely feathery lashes. Ahhhh I miss that too.
However, I let go of it all due to my change in lifestyle. I left my life in Alaska for a new life in Denmark and that changed everything.
Related: My Danish Culture Shock Part I
Nowadays, I’m just glad if I showered. Don’t laugh. Ok, sure laugh at my expense, I’m ok with it. I think what happened organically was that I started taking a closer look at myself.
I started morning affirmations.
I’d look in the mirror and say, “You are enough.” I would take a hard look at myself in mirror, studying the grey, where the grey is the thickest. I’d look at my natural lashes and note that they seem longer now AND that they are MY lashes;) I’d smile and notice the lines around my eyes, they are there, They are slowly deepening. I’d take it as a sign of age and laughter. I laughed a lot I think.
I look at my sagging boobs (yeah we are going there). They gave three babies life. I cup them and pull them up about 3 inches like in that movie and say, “ladies, in our 20’s you were a perky bunch.” Then drop it a little lower, “My 30’s, ladies you were in your prime!” Then I let them go to their current state and say, “Well well well girls, we aren’t our lively selves anymore eh?” But that’s ok, I still love them and my music man thinks they are awesome and that’s about all I care about. Besides, that’s what push-up bras are for eh?!?
But, I started doing these ‘affirmations’ because it helps start my day on a positive note, it makes me smile and I believe in self-care. Everyday we walk this life and we all carry our own shit, it’s so easy to be mean to ourselves. Why even marketing dictates what we SHOULD look like which is all crap. It’s easier to tell ourselves what we don’t like about ourselves. To point out all our insecurities and hate the curves and wrinkles that make us individuals. But, to embrace it?!? Faaaaak no! That’s harder. So I started telling myself ‘kind things.’ Now it has become part of my morning ritual.
I’ll spare you all the wishy washy things I say to myself because everyone is different in their self-care journey, but I found this from Vicki of ‘Lifestyle Maven,’ she summed it up perfectly.
“Ageing well means being comfortable in your skin. Our bodies may have aged, but authenticity, confidence and experience are sexy too. Ageing means making choices that bring us happiness. In my case I chose to give up a 20 year permanent career and start my own business. The response from my clients has been amazing. I would love to share the message that midlife women need not be invisible. As a supportive tribe, we can be bold and powerful.” –from Vicki at https://www.lifestylemaven.co.uk/join-the-age-well-revolution/
And so, I’m digging my grey mane, my bare face with the dimples and natural lashes. Even the wrinkles make me smile harder because it means my life is full. Embracing this age thing has given me grace. I’m ok with it all….so far;
Are you aging gracefully?!?
Let me know what you think of yourself getting older….I want to know all the things.